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The Book of NeoGenesis
The Evolution of Mankind From Rocks
e-Book (PDF)

LAUGH 'TILL YOUR SIDES ACHE
HAVE THE BEN-GAY READY

DON'T DARE LEAVE THIS STORE WITHOUT GETTING THIS BOOK!!
IT WILL BE THE BEST MONEY YOU EVER SPENT!!

 

    Attention Darwinist Evolutionists, and Secular Humanists!

 

 

        The book you've been waiting for is finally here! - This book by WebPastor David Todeschini, is a tongue-in-cheek spoof on the FANTASY of the Darwinist Pagan Religion. The first three chapters of the Book of Genesis - re-written according to what you would have to believe in order to believe in "evolution".

      There is nothing like a good laugh to dispel the ridiculous and the absurd from one's mind, and this book - which is replete with Latin words and legal terminology (which are defined in copious footnotes) will have you in stitches laughing at anyone who could be so STUPID (That's right, I said "STUPID") enough as to believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Yes, it is a BELIEF, just as belief in God is a BELIEF - Only it takes much more FAITH to believe in Evolution than it does to believe in an all-powerful God who created the universe from (literally) nothing. 

 

        This book is a great gift for evolutionist friends and acquaintances, but is not for the faint-of-heart.

WARNING 

       IDIOTS, CRETINS, IMBECILES, AND ATHEISTS WILL BE OFFENDED BY THIS BOOK
(Tough!)

      This book is so hilarious, it's dangerous. If you suffer from a weak ticker, you might just die laughing! The fact that anyone can believe that Man "evolved" from apes is hilarious in itself, but if one believes that, this book illustrates how one who holds such a belief ultimately has to conclude that Mankind "evolved" from rocks. If you believe in the "Big Bang" without Divine intervention, then you ultimately believe that your ancestors were rocks. 




 

 

Key Points in the book

 

bullet

How the "Big Bang" accident happened by chance.

bullet

Adam's mother was a gorilla.

bullet

Adam's wife was his sister.

bullet

What kind of tree was it that God forbade Adam and Eve to eat from?

bullet

Find out why [God] didn't want Adam and Eve to touch that ONE tree... (I won't spoil it for you).

bullet

Was the devil a snake BEFORE Eve took the fruit? - the answer is right in the Bible.



 

 PREVIEW

{From Chapter Three of NeoGenesis}

1.      As Adam and Eve ran from the forest, Eve started giggling uncontrollably, collapsing on the grass, exhausted.

2.      And Adam said to her, "What's so funny? - We just got evicted from the best crib on the planet!" And Eve responded, "Yo, Adam, that Nada dude was mad funny! He chopped off Sakla's legs... Like the black knight in the forest in Monty Python's.....  {{Toke}} Samurai Tree-smoker hah, hah, hah!"

3.      As Eve was hysterical, Adam stood there dumbfounded. He never heard of Monty Python, and he narrowly looked upon her and said, "Eve, what have I to do with thee?"

4.      And she coyly looked away as she walked into the tall grass, then glancing back, saying, "Adam, sweetie,  {{Toke}} you KNOW what you have to do with me."

5.      And Adam said to her, "Didst thou save the roach of the blunt thereof?"

6.      And Eve replied, "Yes, dear, it's in my purse along with a key and a large bag of Doritos."

7.      And the two of them partook of the remnant of the tree, and were soon in flagrante delicto in the field of tall grass.

8.      Soon it came to pass that Eve was with child, and when her time had come to be delivered, it was a boy, and they called his name Toke, because he had been conceived under the influence.



 

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS

This book is in PDF Format. It is 0.383 Megabytes -  delivered uncompressed

ALSO AVAILABLE IN PRINTED & BOUND FORM

This file WILL fit on a standard Floppy disk

NOTE: If you do NOT have a PDF reader such as Adobe Acrobat Reader™ or equivalent.

PLEASE INSTALL A COPY BEFORE PROCEEDING - This software is free of cost    Click this logo to go to the Adobe Web site to download a free copy of Adobe Acrobat Reader

The file is compatible with all IBM and Mac Machines that can run PDF software.

The file is electronically coded to discourage unauthorized distribution (you may copy it for archival purposes)



 

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

 

     No part of this work may be duplicated or distributed by any means without the express written permission of the author. This work represents the intellectual property of David Todeschini and Net4TruthUSA.

 

    You may not copy this work with a copy machine, photographically, or electronically, or by any other means. You may not use any part of this work in a larger work, outside of short quotes for review or critique purposes. The copyright laws of the United States apply. You may not redistribute this work “for profit”, nor give “free” copies to your friends. If you wish to use any part of this work, get permission for use. To contact the author for written permission, please call or write to the phone number or address listed below. Those who violate the rights of the copyright owner will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 

 

    As a professional courtesy, please include the following text in the footnote of your work, if you use any part of this work under "fair use", and inform TelsonUSA about your usage.

 

Please include the following notice for works quoted from this site, or books / PDF files downloaded from this site: 

From: <<< The Book of NeoGenesis >>>>

 © Copyright 2005 -  David Todeschini

See: www.Net4TruthUSA.com 

 

    All non-proprietary works duplicated or quoted herein, are reproduced with the permission of the original owner or copyright holder, as noted. For those items that are included without references, the work is either public domain, or the material is included under “fair use”. Notice in references and footnotes will be included in subsequent printings upon discovery of original source.

 

    The author of this web site certifies that this work is taken from his original works, and is the intellectual property of David John Todeschini and his assignees according to the Copyright Laws of the United States of America.

 

 NOTICE

If you have received an electronic, magnetic, or optical recording of this book from any other source than the publisher, you and the source, are in violation of copyright, the penalty for which can be up to four years in prison, and / or $10,000 fine. Please set an example of honesty, and don't "pirate" this work.  



 

You are 100% Guaranteed to be happy with this book.

 

This book is so hilarious, I can confidently make this promise: If you are HONESTLY NOT HAPPY with it - (if you don't develop kidney failure) after reading it for 30 days, we will refund your purchase. 

 

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This book is also available in printed & bound edition

Get the printed and bound (paperback) copy $6.99 + Shipping.  

 

 

When you click the LuLu Payment Button (above), you will be taken to my Bookstore on LuLu.com - You must log in (if you already have a LuLu account), (or create an account) in order to purchase. Once you have completed the checkout process, your book will be shipped to you via snail-mail, usually within ten days.

                    


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    Last modified: 05/29/15


     

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    Last modified: 05/29/15

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